I love you specifically

Before we started saying “I love you” we had various alternatives: “I care about you so much.” “I want to be with you more than anything.” “I can’t wait to see you.” “I really, really like you.” (note the two reallys). Ironically, they meant the same thing, just the little individual component parts of “I love you” offered one at a time. It’s funny now, sometimes I feel lazy when I only say “I love you,” like I should be more specific.

Like this.

I love that you call me several times a day, even if it’s just to tell me about the morning, or about what Eve had for lunch (especially that), because it’s usually not something you really need to tell me, you just want to talk to me. Lord knows I’m a bad audience sometimes – but it doesn’t seem to matter. You keep calling.

I love how when I walk in the door from work, before Eve has seen me, you make a really big deal about how “daddy’s home” so that she gets excited.

I love that you are disappointed in me when I lose my temper, or when I talk to you rudely, or when I do any number of things that I shouldn’t do, because that’s exactly what I need – to be reminded that my words do matter, that I can cause hurt.

But I equally love when you forgive me. There’s scarcely a better feeling.

I love that you love Eve more than anything or anybody, more than me, and more than yourself, and how obvious it truly is.

I love how you know me, how you know if I’ve tried to put your clothes away, or that a particular piece of tiny trash was left in some obscure place by me, or that I’ll forget a particular thing you told me before I forget it.

I love how you always diminish my flaws, that you’ll never admit to the true size of my head or how bad I look in shorts.

Sometimes I look at my life and I become afraid that one day God will realize that He’s been terribly unfair to the rest of the world and will have no choice but to see to it that tragedy befalls me, and that the woman, the sweet, beautiful woman and the life with her that I love will be taken from me, and the score settled.

Although I hate this fear, I love it too, for what it means.

This is how I love you, specifically.




To many more August 2nds.

Your N